Opening yourself up to new people and to different things isn’t always as easy as it seems. For some of us it takes defying everything that we have installed in our current operating system (mind). There are very few people that I connect with on a real level. What I find is that whenever I do find such a person it is always someone that has the ability to push me to the next level. I don’t ask for these people to be sent into my life, but I’m truly grateful that they do.
If one attracts what they are, then the improvement in the state of my being have really grown exponentially over the last few years. I find myself in circles of positive people, filled with support of who I am and what I want to do; and I am distanced from those that criticize and put me down. This change is also not something that I asked for, but as I learned to love myself and improve myself, being around anyone that treats me less than I deserve just isn’t worth my time. So I found myself alone and isolated from what I knew because it just didn’t feel right anymore. Yet from that isolation and distance the people that enter my life now are on a different level to what I was used to;and more concurrent to the path that I am now on.
Don’t get me wrong I am not saying that every single person from my past is toxic, because that would not be true. I just needed to separate myself from everyone to finally hear my own voice and figure out what direction I needed to go. When your life is too noisy and you cannot hear your own voice, it’s necessary to take drastic steps to quieten everything down in order to find your bearings. As I progress in finding my true voice- the one I was born to be , the one that is not silenced by pain and suffering- I believe I will find my way to all those both in my past and future that are true to me and my calling. For I know in my heart where I belong and the journey to find that place is what makes me stand tall and strong; able to face adversity and overcome obstacles thrown in my way.
I am not on this journey alone, I have never been and I am truly grateful to every single soul that has played an important role in my growth. Whatever role it was whether positive or negative. If I had not crossed every path, met every person, made every single mistake and endured so much pain; I would not be the woman that I am today, I would not be the power that I am today and I certainly would not be the strength that I am today. So to every person place and thing that has touched my life and molded me into the woman I am right now- I thank you, I embrace you and I definitely needed you, because now I see that no matter what I’ve been through or what you have done to me or deprived me of, how you loved me or hurt me, that it was all necessary to break me, mold me and create the person that stands tall today with her head held high – I have survived it all – I am still here!!
Written by: Tammy Murphy